Firstly folks, many apologies for this being late online. It's been one of those weeks. I hope this week's show is progressing well and I look forward to spending more time with you on Wednesday, both before and after our broadcast.
So what of last week?
Well it never found the highlights of the previous installment, and was quite middle of the road fare. Keeping the momentum up is hard every week, but that is what we must strive to do. There were some stories of merit, and some that missed the mark and I think we must strive harder to find decent stories to cover, that affect PEOPLE. There simply aren't enough people in our stories to make it interesting to viewers and to reflect their views. We aren't really engaging with them.
Having said that improvements are being made in certain areas and what I will try and do is concentrate a little bit more on the packages from now on.
So last week in more detail.......:
JUSTINA: Really well done. I know there were a couple of hiccups but this was a really good effort. You look good on camera and with a little bit more practice you could be excellent. Don't grimace when you make a mistake. The viewer knows something is wrong if you pull a face. Just be that swan - serene above the desk, swimming like mad underneath!
HEADLINE CAPTIONS: I think they may be too big as they take up too much of the screen. Can we have them as a smaller, single line?
Also is "council spending" a massive tease for the viewer as a strapline, that is going to entice our viewers into watching our show? Give it some top spin.
LOUIS: I've said it before, you have a great voice and you must use that to your advantage, but don't gabble your words. Also while delivering your piece, make sure you keep your eyes on the camera at all times, or you look shifty. The viewer will either stop trusting you, or think your concentration has been lost because some gorgeous looking female (very often the weather presenter) has walked in to the corner of the studio!
You were very involved with your story, which was excellent to see, but at times, take yourself out of it, so that you can remember what it is all about from the outside looking in. Tell that story to all those who haven't heard it before.
FLICK: Again you have a strong voice and I think this is a decent story because it affects everyone in the county. You have used the unions as balance, but if you are going to quote Ken Thornber (which you are right to do) please don't pull out a piece of paper that looks like you've stuffed in your pocket after blowing your nose on it. It is perfectly acceptable to memorise what Cllr Thornber says and regurgitate it in a PTC, without referring to any piece of snotty rag. The two shots you use of the UNISON signs, are the same back to back. Tight - pullout to wide - a) it's an unnatural shot for the eye (remember you should replicate what an eye does and it can't zoom out) and b) if you do use that shot, don't make the next shot exactly the same.
LEE: This story has merit but it needs personalising, or it becomes very dry, and one Labour councillor's rant at the Tories. The shots inside the Job Club were good, well done for that. Also you have tried to construct and explain this and you have used some stats with good GFX. But ultimately we need to hear from those out of work - do they agree with this politician?
At the end of your PTC make sure you stand still for a couple of seconds - that then gives the gallery time to come off the end of your package easily, without having to cut quickly back to the presenter, or else run the risk of seeing you walk off at the end of shot, as if you've got to pick up your camera, run for the bus and say 'that job's a good'un.'
Good effort all round though.
SPORT
There was an excellent mix of stories here - leading on rugby was good, and a bit of football and ice hockey made it a well rounded sports belt.
AIMEE: Well done again, you're becoming an old pro at this. Be careful not to be too slow and deliberate at times, as it becomes a bit more like a fairy tale rather than a sports bulletin, but you look so natural now, it's very impressive.
HENRY
This is another really good local piece and you have spoken to some important people. What would have helped the package though was perhaps being able to see the dodgy parts of the ground (if there were any on view) or getting some old footage of when it's really wet or something, to show how they must improve it.There wasn't actually that much action in it at all and it may have helped to use a little more. It looked a little strange that you had on the day shots, then archive of a match, and then on the day shots again - try and keep the themes together rather than flitting in and out. Remember not to go SOT and end with an SOQ - especially not in vision as well!
Did we then go Football/Ice Hockey/Football? Not sure that makes sense.
I love the Ice Hockey story with a brilliant stat in it, but the Eastleigh replay behind the goal was not needed. Only use it if necessary, not just because you went behinsd the goal and had two cameras on show.
MIKEY
Another good strong package - but I wonder if the FX were too high - was that just the compression or were they too high to start with? We are also banning the phrase "Much to the delight of the xxxxx fans!" Hackneyed and awful. Well done otherwise. Very well constructed.
HANDOVERS:
Should be fun, playful and relaxed. Let's try and make them so. They're still a bit deliberate.
TOM: It's a great and finally piece, and once again you are blessed with a good voice. We are very lucky to have some many reporters who have good voices. Perhaps you might have had a little more fun with this.
GAMES REVIEW
This is a great way to finish the bulletin and advertise just how brilliantly diverse we are. On the intro we mentioned Ewan, but then up pops Graham as well. I have to say the delivery from both of you was excellent. Energetic and very watchable. Make sure any promo like this is ddone as a stand alone piece, and not as an edit from the real show. It should have ended with the two of you saying "So join us for the Games review every week at winol.co.uk". I like what I see of this.
GALLERY
George well done on your first effort at directing. It's hard when something goes wrong, but we all learn in those situations. Next time just get the presenter to read on and then you can work behind the scenes to get everything back on track.
The gallery really operates well. Dom is a calming hand at the right time, and thank you for bringing in the less experienced students to work on aspects of the studio and helping them to learn. Directors please make sure there is constant communication so everyone knows what they are doing. You can never be told too many times what is happening next.
Well done everyone. Please make comments here, or contact me directly via email, or grab me on Wednesday. Look forward to seeing you then.
Monday, 31 October 2011
Thursday, 7 April 2011
SEE YOU IN COURT
Very interesting series on BBC One that you should all be following - See You in Court - real life libel cases and the decisions made whether to sue or not, and how they arrive in court and on what grounds. Catch it on Mondays, or on the iPlayer, or here
Friday, 18 March 2011
SPORTSWEEK 16TH MARCH
SPORTSWEEK
Well done again, this is a very professional programme. If we keep tweaking various aspects we will soon have the most polished student programme anywhere. Well done. Cara, you do a really good job at presenting.
HEADLINES AND TITLES
The headlines have a better look to them now - Chris' idea for straps is a good one, and you have grabbed the idea and understood how to be informative and light-hearted. That's the whole idea - get the puns in, they work.
The titles now look like titles - I wonder if we could add still more colour into them just to make them a little artier. They are still very dark on the basketball and I wonder if they can be lightened up? Changing the order of the pictures to end with the goal shot, and using the 'clunk' is a perfect punctuation to go in to the studio. But the previous one of the player holding the ball I'm not sure works now. Look at it again and see what you think.
The back drop for the studio is so much better - having the monitor on the angle adds more depth to the shot.
But in our links folks, don't use nicknames or ground names, before we hear the team name for real. Not everyone will know who the Seagulls, the Saints, the Minstermen or in this case 'fans at the Testwood stadium' are - I didn't and I'm supposed to know about these things. Don't expect people to know all the non league grounds.
TOTTON
Mikey you have a good clear voice, but be careful not to over write - if you have too many words in your package then it will grate with the viewer and they will not be able to take in the pictures. This is more the case in your second package (Winchester), and this one breathes a little better - compare the two.
At the opening if we are going to talk about Michael Gosney (sp?) then let's see him. Also you say "rumoured to be being monitored"...is that English - sounds ugly to me. What's great though is the fact that you know that information and you've drawn it to our attention. Good stuff.
You do let it breath nicely after the 1-nil goal, but if it was you who was shooting it, it was the perfect opportunity for you to zoom in on the goalscorer to see him celebrate in a tight shot.
For the second goal I like the way you have used the spoof comms - it's a good bit of commentary - and then paused for the PA announcer - the only problem is the commentary would have carried on if he were commentating at the time. To have a gap at the end merely reinforces the fact it was dubbed on after.
For four nil - on which there is neither v/o or comms (somewhat strange) - again it is the perfect opportunity to zoom in after the goal - it gives you a different sized shot and it's as good as a cutaway. Gareth is beginning to master that now.
It was a great outline - good information, good line. Well done, the perfect way to end the package.
BASINGSTOKE
Link is fine here, but do football teams "face off" against each other - I think that's a hockey term.
I have spoken to you Gareth about this piece and most of it is excellent - the camera work is very good, and the tips I have given you are really paying off. I see you have changed some things since our chat (was that only for the news package) but what about the changes to the opening line, which doesn't make sense?
Be careful that your v/o words do not replicate what has been said in the spoof comms and vice versa and that you do not say what is going to happen, before it actually does. It's too much of a signpost.
Everyone should look at the way this package has been shot and the techniques Gareth has used here. He has done really well.
STUDIO BRIEFING
A very good idea to do this, but try and remember most of what you are going to say. It is all very well to have notes on the table, but DON'T turn the page over halfway through the interview! Write it on TWO pieces of paper!
HANDOVER
The idea to use a three shot is great here for the handover, but it looks horrid. I applaud the attempt, but the green screen makes it look dreadful.
AMY
It's a great addition to have you there, and makes us look like we've got a huge sports team when we haven't really. After seeing you in vision for about 5/6 seconds we need to take the table full frame - i.e. run it as a VT and we'll take that as it is too small on the green screen behind you. We should try and highlight our teams as well in a different colour.
We say Totton are 5 points clear at the top when the gap on the graphic says they have 73 points and Sholing I think it is have 71.....
You are getting better and better at this - I think you meant to say at the end "so plenty of potential for our non-league CLUBS" and not "non-league GAMES" at the end. If you make a mistake, don't be afraid to correct yourself, but you're looking more and more comfortable up there.
Cara make sure you react when Amy hands back, she's not an alien who should be ignored!
WINCHESTER CITY
I don't think we needed the kick off shot. I think we have to steer away from handshakes and kick offs unless totally necessary.
I think we also needed to see the sending off tackle again at the top of the piece - it happens quite quickly so help out the viewer. Go tackle in real time, the red card, and then a replay.
While you have really got the hang of what to do after a goal is scored, or after an incident, I think the cutaway after the equalising goal is a little sharp. Be careful not to be too quick.
As for the penalties, make sure you get something as a cutaway after each one, if you only have one camera. It works after the missed penalty because you follow the player who has missed, but not later when it's effectively a jump cut; and you repeat that error with other penalties.
Also after that first penalty leave the sound long to get the crowd reaction underneath the cutaway you use. If you don't, you know it's an edit. If you keep the sound going, then it hides the edit.
WINCHESTER UNI
Technical trouble I presume has meant that the link to Winchester has disappeared. Where is it? Going from Winchester City and then Winchester makes it confusing. Who is who? Don't confuse the viewer.
As for the package, as I referred to it earlier - it is very wordy. There are some good snippets of informaton but just too many words.
KARATE CLUB
CARA if you lost autocue at the top of the karate link, then this is an example to everyone of how to cover yourself and to use your hard copy of a script - that's why we always need scripts in thje studio. It seems you had lost autocue at the beginning and then it arrived half way through. It was brilliantly handled - very well done. The only thing is, maybe in your nervousness that it wasn't there, you start swinging your chair. One minor point to a very well handled technical difficulty.
PKG
This is not a bad effort and you try and bring us a little bit of an understanding about another sport that isn't mainstream. I think there is merit in having a little piece on "forgotten sports" each week, as it adds variety to the show.
Well done again, this is a very professional programme. If we keep tweaking various aspects we will soon have the most polished student programme anywhere. Well done. Cara, you do a really good job at presenting.
HEADLINES AND TITLES
The headlines have a better look to them now - Chris' idea for straps is a good one, and you have grabbed the idea and understood how to be informative and light-hearted. That's the whole idea - get the puns in, they work.
The titles now look like titles - I wonder if we could add still more colour into them just to make them a little artier. They are still very dark on the basketball and I wonder if they can be lightened up? Changing the order of the pictures to end with the goal shot, and using the 'clunk' is a perfect punctuation to go in to the studio. But the previous one of the player holding the ball I'm not sure works now. Look at it again and see what you think.
The back drop for the studio is so much better - having the monitor on the angle adds more depth to the shot.
But in our links folks, don't use nicknames or ground names, before we hear the team name for real. Not everyone will know who the Seagulls, the Saints, the Minstermen or in this case 'fans at the Testwood stadium' are - I didn't and I'm supposed to know about these things. Don't expect people to know all the non league grounds.
TOTTON
Mikey you have a good clear voice, but be careful not to over write - if you have too many words in your package then it will grate with the viewer and they will not be able to take in the pictures. This is more the case in your second package (Winchester), and this one breathes a little better - compare the two.
At the opening if we are going to talk about Michael Gosney (sp?) then let's see him. Also you say "rumoured to be being monitored"...is that English - sounds ugly to me. What's great though is the fact that you know that information and you've drawn it to our attention. Good stuff.
You do let it breath nicely after the 1-nil goal, but if it was you who was shooting it, it was the perfect opportunity for you to zoom in on the goalscorer to see him celebrate in a tight shot.
For the second goal I like the way you have used the spoof comms - it's a good bit of commentary - and then paused for the PA announcer - the only problem is the commentary would have carried on if he were commentating at the time. To have a gap at the end merely reinforces the fact it was dubbed on after.
For four nil - on which there is neither v/o or comms (somewhat strange) - again it is the perfect opportunity to zoom in after the goal - it gives you a different sized shot and it's as good as a cutaway. Gareth is beginning to master that now.
It was a great outline - good information, good line. Well done, the perfect way to end the package.
BASINGSTOKE
Link is fine here, but do football teams "face off" against each other - I think that's a hockey term.
I have spoken to you Gareth about this piece and most of it is excellent - the camera work is very good, and the tips I have given you are really paying off. I see you have changed some things since our chat (was that only for the news package) but what about the changes to the opening line, which doesn't make sense?
Be careful that your v/o words do not replicate what has been said in the spoof comms and vice versa and that you do not say what is going to happen, before it actually does. It's too much of a signpost.
Everyone should look at the way this package has been shot and the techniques Gareth has used here. He has done really well.
STUDIO BRIEFING
A very good idea to do this, but try and remember most of what you are going to say. It is all very well to have notes on the table, but DON'T turn the page over halfway through the interview! Write it on TWO pieces of paper!
HANDOVER
The idea to use a three shot is great here for the handover, but it looks horrid. I applaud the attempt, but the green screen makes it look dreadful.
AMY
It's a great addition to have you there, and makes us look like we've got a huge sports team when we haven't really. After seeing you in vision for about 5/6 seconds we need to take the table full frame - i.e. run it as a VT and we'll take that as it is too small on the green screen behind you. We should try and highlight our teams as well in a different colour.
We say Totton are 5 points clear at the top when the gap on the graphic says they have 73 points and Sholing I think it is have 71.....
You are getting better and better at this - I think you meant to say at the end "so plenty of potential for our non-league CLUBS" and not "non-league GAMES" at the end. If you make a mistake, don't be afraid to correct yourself, but you're looking more and more comfortable up there.
Cara make sure you react when Amy hands back, she's not an alien who should be ignored!
WINCHESTER CITY
I don't think we needed the kick off shot. I think we have to steer away from handshakes and kick offs unless totally necessary.
I think we also needed to see the sending off tackle again at the top of the piece - it happens quite quickly so help out the viewer. Go tackle in real time, the red card, and then a replay.
While you have really got the hang of what to do after a goal is scored, or after an incident, I think the cutaway after the equalising goal is a little sharp. Be careful not to be too quick.
As for the penalties, make sure you get something as a cutaway after each one, if you only have one camera. It works after the missed penalty because you follow the player who has missed, but not later when it's effectively a jump cut; and you repeat that error with other penalties.
Also after that first penalty leave the sound long to get the crowd reaction underneath the cutaway you use. If you don't, you know it's an edit. If you keep the sound going, then it hides the edit.
WINCHESTER UNI
Technical trouble I presume has meant that the link to Winchester has disappeared. Where is it? Going from Winchester City and then Winchester makes it confusing. Who is who? Don't confuse the viewer.
As for the package, as I referred to it earlier - it is very wordy. There are some good snippets of informaton but just too many words.
KARATE CLUB
CARA if you lost autocue at the top of the karate link, then this is an example to everyone of how to cover yourself and to use your hard copy of a script - that's why we always need scripts in thje studio. It seems you had lost autocue at the beginning and then it arrived half way through. It was brilliantly handled - very well done. The only thing is, maybe in your nervousness that it wasn't there, you start swinging your chair. One minor point to a very well handled technical difficulty.
PKG
This is not a bad effort and you try and bring us a little bit of an understanding about another sport that isn't mainstream. I think there is merit in having a little piece on "forgotten sports" each week, as it adds variety to the show.
Sunday, 13 March 2011
Sport week review part one
As I said during the week we definitely need to treat the titles in some way - potentially give them a filmic effect - so they look different from the headlines. Also either have NAT SOT on all or none of it and I suggest none of it Except when the hockey ball hits the net as that seems a good punctuation point.
Gareth you looked much more confident this week, it looked like you'd been presenting for years so well done.
Jake - what was the first shot on your package? Not only did it appear on the news piece but it's also on the Sportsweek piece too. That's just lazy editing.
I think the issue with the commentary in the reports is that the commentarybis too short. I wasn't quite sure why it didn't work to begin with but if you are going to do spoof comms then you need to do two lines and not one. It'll all look less deliberate if you do it that way. The edit between Winchester's first effort and Totton's second goal doesn't work and the shot is too long after the 3-0 goal.....
There's more to follow but I am just about to take off....will be back asap.
Gareth you looked much more confident this week, it looked like you'd been presenting for years so well done.
Jake - what was the first shot on your package? Not only did it appear on the news piece but it's also on the Sportsweek piece too. That's just lazy editing.
I think the issue with the commentary in the reports is that the commentarybis too short. I wasn't quite sure why it didn't work to begin with but if you are going to do spoof comms then you need to do two lines and not one. It'll all look less deliberate if you do it that way. The edit between Winchester's first effort and Totton's second goal doesn't work and the shot is too long after the 3-0 goal.....
There's more to follow but I am just about to take off....will be back asap.
Saturday, 12 March 2011
Sportsweek Team
I am aware that I have not been able to write up my appraisal of Sportsweek this week - apologies for that, but I hope the detailed deconstruction of last week helped for those there. I am flying to Doha on Sunday and will try and to write up my comments at the airport before I leave. Keep up the good work though, we're definitely on an upward curve.
Friday, 11 March 2011
WINOL 9 MARCH 2011
Another lengthy appraisal to follow folks, but I can see that the analysis I have been giving is being listened to and acted upon - and your bulletins are getting much better - well done.
As ever not all of this will apply to you and you may want to skim through it until you find something about you. DON'T. Each note applies to each and every one of you and you can all learn by just spending a few minutes looking through this and watching the bulletin again.
OVERVIEW
This is a much better balanced news bulletin. What is particularly impressive is that it tries to tick a lot of boxes as far as our audience is concerned. There is a little bit for everyone, and we have serviced our core audience, i.e. the University, very well. Add to that a good local story at Bendicks, the hero firefighters back from NZ, young mums and a streaker in a mankini, and that is an excellent range. I am also pleased that you moved the news agenda on from Monday and new stories have appeared, particularly the lead. The graphics are fresh and give us a new identity.
HEADLINES
At last we are getting the idea! These are much punchier, the pictures you are choosing are better and we have got a decent pun in the sport headline. This is the way it should be! And there was no black hole at the end of it so well done on that score too.
NEWSREADING
Katie, firstly well done. You look good, and have presence so it worked well with you doing it. Be careful though not to read too quickly. When nervous it easy to let your mouth run away with you - maybe it was the autocue going too quickly - but when you go too quickly, you can easily stumble over words, and once you stumble once, you can get uptight and your performance can deteriorate. It is very common, so try and keep and even pace in conversational style. Remember everything you say the viewer is hearing for the first time and it needs explaining in a coherent manner.
AARON PORTER
Link: It was much better, with more information, though it was quite a long sentence for Katie to read.
Package: A good get, as we say. He is a figure in the public eye and somewhat controversial, so it is interesting to see what he says in a follow on from last week. I'm not sure he ever said what we contested in the link or the headlines, but you have given the story a hard edge and obviously a local one and that is important.
It's a bit of a library pull together on pictures, but that is to be expected. The limitations are that you have dissolved between each part of his interview, but clearly with a Skype interview there will be no cutaways, unless you film over Colin's shoulder, with Colin and the computer in a two shot, and use that as a cutaway.
Colin be careful with your tenses in the opening line - we would normally say "has voiced his worries", despite thinking that "voices his worries" is more up to date. But overall we used our intelligence and technology to get hold of him.
BENDICKS
Link: It's vital we get the name right! Katie, if you get it wrong, then just correct yourself. On a style issue, the fact that you say "Andrew Giddings spoke to local MP Steve Brine" suggests that this is a going to be a sit down interview and it is the next thing we are going to see. It wasn't. It can be left out.
Package: Your voice over is getting better all the time. It was very relaxed. It's a great PTC although I wonder if some of it could have been done in voice over, with a range of shots. But the simplicity of getting movement in your opening shot (a pair of boots going up the steps) is excellent technique. If a person walks past in a GV then use it, or a car goes past, use it - it just makes the shot more interesting.
It was good to get Steve Brine on this, even if it is only a phono - we are building up a good relationship with him - but let's make sure we discuss on Monday who might use him in any story, as a) we don't want to bombard him from all corners, but be united in our attempts to get hold of him, and b) don't use him too much. He is our local MP, but we don't want to over use him.
What is missing from this piece? Obvious really - the product. I know you couldn't get in and the Beeb were ahead of us because they have generic shots in their library, but we didn't even have a packet of anything. We knew about this on Monday - we had 48 hours to source some.
The last part of the quote you use from the company is unnecessary - even if you do use it, please put a full stop at the end of the sentence. Simple. Don't end with SOT SOQ, which effectively is what the quote is.
Excellent outline in vision in the studio. To break up the stories Katie, just have a look down at your scripts in between the end of the Bendicks one and the start of the firefighters - it's a simple technique that just tells the viewers we're moving on to something else. I told Andrew to do the same last week - so if we all read this, we will know when it's our turn to present.
FIREFIGHTERS:
Link:
There doesn't seem to be a proper sentence in the link, but that may be because of the way it was read. It should have built up their hero status or the challenging nature of their work, even if there was no real life saving success story.
Package:
This made the air because of Shira's persistence. She has nurtured a contact, kept on to them, and that reaped rewards. It was a good news story and I liked the way you fought to keep it your own Shira. I like that desire. You do the hard work, you want the glory. Fair enough.
The NAT SOT (my favourite) was good at the top of the piece, but you have to be careful. Remember that you are actually covering a story about death and destruction, so to see them laughing at the top has to be qualified with a voice over like.."Relieved to be home after a traumatic two weeks down under....." so you understand the mood of the story.
Your voice over also went on "The nine firefighters...." when we could only see six of them - it's just a bit confusing.
What you have used is a great technique though on the second part of the interview - you have overlayed the SOT with pictures, used some good sequences and this is pretty professional.
Clearly what would be best is to take the fireman's memory card, print up some of his pictures and shoot them, or put them on a screen, rather than just use them on his camera, but you did what you could to actually get the shots.
It's not easy when only one of the firemen speaks - you use him four times I think. Once is best, twice is just about allowed, but we really need to persuade others to talk too to give it some variation. But you line of "they have just one more mission" leading into his grab, is really excellent.
I was impressed with the hard work and the contacts you have made here. But please - again - no SOT then SOQ - it is lazy. And make sure you get your SOQ right. It is standard all round. Name, Winchester News Online, Place.
YOUNG MUMS
Link:
Again much better - it's fuller and more informative - but what is a Surestart Centre? You don't tell me in the link or in the package. The mums know, Ken Thornber knows, but does the majority of your audience? And you fail to reflect the partial victory the mums achieved - namely the extension to consultation period. Also the link says 1,000 signatures - the package says 12,000 - get it right.
Package:
This is a perfect example of going out on something on the hunch and coming back with a very decent story - it was full of colour, there's a large array of shots and a really good reflection of what it was all about. You shoot your pictures at just the right size, so it looks like there are possibly more mums on the march than were actually there. Maybe we could have heard more of the whistles and the noise though.
The NAT SOT of Cllr Thornber is excellent and the reaction from Kate Reynolds, exactly the right length. You have really used your interviewees, NAT SOT and PTC well - it makes it feel like there is so much in it. It is well edited and scripted - my only complaint, as above, what is a Surestart centre and what does it do? Does the v/o and the PTC repeat itself. Be careful.
NIB:
Apart from the finger trouble on vision mixing desk, this is a worthy story, and important to reflect what our Vice Chancellor is doing in her efforts to protect the viability of the University.
GAMBIA:
Link:
The link comes in a bit early - make sure the director is in charge cueing the presenter at the right time and the vision mixer coming off the ulay to match.
Eventhough there is a stutter on the link, we all do that don't worry, what's the up to date line on this story?
Package:
David your voice is excellent - well paced and clear - although be careful don't swallow your first word. What exactly did the students do, apart from teach? That never really came across. Or is that all they did? What exactly is the Diamond Jubilee project? You were nearly there.
It would have been nice to hear from more than one student as well - never be satisfied with just one viewpoint, get as many people talking about it as you can. Well done for zooming in and out on various stills - that's how you make what is effectively a non moving picture, that much more interesting.
SPORT HANDOVER
Remember if someone asks you a question, it's rude if you don't answer - so when Katie asks you a question Kieran answer it!
All your reports I have looked at and put in a review of Sportsweek.
On the results round-up, obviously the graphic should be up longer to cover all the scores and voice over.
But overall pretty good bulletin. Kieran you look very comfortable in front of camera, a very good debut.
Katie make sure you say thank you - if we make handovers that much more relaxed then we look so much more comfortable on camera.
SPITFIRE:
I think we needed to see this woman, and it was worth an UPSOT - I would have dropped a bit of sport coverage to include this - all the chances are not that necessary, especially when we have Sportsweek.
All in all folks, this is turning into a proper news programme - well done. Keep up the good work. Things are sharpening up.
As ever not all of this will apply to you and you may want to skim through it until you find something about you. DON'T. Each note applies to each and every one of you and you can all learn by just spending a few minutes looking through this and watching the bulletin again.
OVERVIEW
This is a much better balanced news bulletin. What is particularly impressive is that it tries to tick a lot of boxes as far as our audience is concerned. There is a little bit for everyone, and we have serviced our core audience, i.e. the University, very well. Add to that a good local story at Bendicks, the hero firefighters back from NZ, young mums and a streaker in a mankini, and that is an excellent range. I am also pleased that you moved the news agenda on from Monday and new stories have appeared, particularly the lead. The graphics are fresh and give us a new identity.
HEADLINES
At last we are getting the idea! These are much punchier, the pictures you are choosing are better and we have got a decent pun in the sport headline. This is the way it should be! And there was no black hole at the end of it so well done on that score too.
NEWSREADING
Katie, firstly well done. You look good, and have presence so it worked well with you doing it. Be careful though not to read too quickly. When nervous it easy to let your mouth run away with you - maybe it was the autocue going too quickly - but when you go too quickly, you can easily stumble over words, and once you stumble once, you can get uptight and your performance can deteriorate. It is very common, so try and keep and even pace in conversational style. Remember everything you say the viewer is hearing for the first time and it needs explaining in a coherent manner.
AARON PORTER
Link: It was much better, with more information, though it was quite a long sentence for Katie to read.
Package: A good get, as we say. He is a figure in the public eye and somewhat controversial, so it is interesting to see what he says in a follow on from last week. I'm not sure he ever said what we contested in the link or the headlines, but you have given the story a hard edge and obviously a local one and that is important.
It's a bit of a library pull together on pictures, but that is to be expected. The limitations are that you have dissolved between each part of his interview, but clearly with a Skype interview there will be no cutaways, unless you film over Colin's shoulder, with Colin and the computer in a two shot, and use that as a cutaway.
Colin be careful with your tenses in the opening line - we would normally say "has voiced his worries", despite thinking that "voices his worries" is more up to date. But overall we used our intelligence and technology to get hold of him.
BENDICKS
Link: It's vital we get the name right! Katie, if you get it wrong, then just correct yourself. On a style issue, the fact that you say "Andrew Giddings spoke to local MP Steve Brine" suggests that this is a going to be a sit down interview and it is the next thing we are going to see. It wasn't. It can be left out.
Package: Your voice over is getting better all the time. It was very relaxed. It's a great PTC although I wonder if some of it could have been done in voice over, with a range of shots. But the simplicity of getting movement in your opening shot (a pair of boots going up the steps) is excellent technique. If a person walks past in a GV then use it, or a car goes past, use it - it just makes the shot more interesting.
It was good to get Steve Brine on this, even if it is only a phono - we are building up a good relationship with him - but let's make sure we discuss on Monday who might use him in any story, as a) we don't want to bombard him from all corners, but be united in our attempts to get hold of him, and b) don't use him too much. He is our local MP, but we don't want to over use him.
What is missing from this piece? Obvious really - the product. I know you couldn't get in and the Beeb were ahead of us because they have generic shots in their library, but we didn't even have a packet of anything. We knew about this on Monday - we had 48 hours to source some.
The last part of the quote you use from the company is unnecessary - even if you do use it, please put a full stop at the end of the sentence. Simple. Don't end with SOT SOQ, which effectively is what the quote is.
Excellent outline in vision in the studio. To break up the stories Katie, just have a look down at your scripts in between the end of the Bendicks one and the start of the firefighters - it's a simple technique that just tells the viewers we're moving on to something else. I told Andrew to do the same last week - so if we all read this, we will know when it's our turn to present.
FIREFIGHTERS:
Link:
There doesn't seem to be a proper sentence in the link, but that may be because of the way it was read. It should have built up their hero status or the challenging nature of their work, even if there was no real life saving success story.
Package:
This made the air because of Shira's persistence. She has nurtured a contact, kept on to them, and that reaped rewards. It was a good news story and I liked the way you fought to keep it your own Shira. I like that desire. You do the hard work, you want the glory. Fair enough.
The NAT SOT (my favourite) was good at the top of the piece, but you have to be careful. Remember that you are actually covering a story about death and destruction, so to see them laughing at the top has to be qualified with a voice over like.."Relieved to be home after a traumatic two weeks down under....." so you understand the mood of the story.
Your voice over also went on "The nine firefighters...." when we could only see six of them - it's just a bit confusing.
What you have used is a great technique though on the second part of the interview - you have overlayed the SOT with pictures, used some good sequences and this is pretty professional.
Clearly what would be best is to take the fireman's memory card, print up some of his pictures and shoot them, or put them on a screen, rather than just use them on his camera, but you did what you could to actually get the shots.
It's not easy when only one of the firemen speaks - you use him four times I think. Once is best, twice is just about allowed, but we really need to persuade others to talk too to give it some variation. But you line of "they have just one more mission" leading into his grab, is really excellent.
I was impressed with the hard work and the contacts you have made here. But please - again - no SOT then SOQ - it is lazy. And make sure you get your SOQ right. It is standard all round. Name, Winchester News Online, Place.
YOUNG MUMS
Link:
Again much better - it's fuller and more informative - but what is a Surestart Centre? You don't tell me in the link or in the package. The mums know, Ken Thornber knows, but does the majority of your audience? And you fail to reflect the partial victory the mums achieved - namely the extension to consultation period. Also the link says 1,000 signatures - the package says 12,000 - get it right.
Package:
This is a perfect example of going out on something on the hunch and coming back with a very decent story - it was full of colour, there's a large array of shots and a really good reflection of what it was all about. You shoot your pictures at just the right size, so it looks like there are possibly more mums on the march than were actually there. Maybe we could have heard more of the whistles and the noise though.
The NAT SOT of Cllr Thornber is excellent and the reaction from Kate Reynolds, exactly the right length. You have really used your interviewees, NAT SOT and PTC well - it makes it feel like there is so much in it. It is well edited and scripted - my only complaint, as above, what is a Surestart centre and what does it do? Does the v/o and the PTC repeat itself. Be careful.
NIB:
Apart from the finger trouble on vision mixing desk, this is a worthy story, and important to reflect what our Vice Chancellor is doing in her efforts to protect the viability of the University.
GAMBIA:
Link:
The link comes in a bit early - make sure the director is in charge cueing the presenter at the right time and the vision mixer coming off the ulay to match.
Eventhough there is a stutter on the link, we all do that don't worry, what's the up to date line on this story?
Package:
David your voice is excellent - well paced and clear - although be careful don't swallow your first word. What exactly did the students do, apart from teach? That never really came across. Or is that all they did? What exactly is the Diamond Jubilee project? You were nearly there.
It would have been nice to hear from more than one student as well - never be satisfied with just one viewpoint, get as many people talking about it as you can. Well done for zooming in and out on various stills - that's how you make what is effectively a non moving picture, that much more interesting.
SPORT HANDOVER
Remember if someone asks you a question, it's rude if you don't answer - so when Katie asks you a question Kieran answer it!
All your reports I have looked at and put in a review of Sportsweek.
On the results round-up, obviously the graphic should be up longer to cover all the scores and voice over.
But overall pretty good bulletin. Kieran you look very comfortable in front of camera, a very good debut.
Katie make sure you say thank you - if we make handovers that much more relaxed then we look so much more comfortable on camera.
SPITFIRE:
I think we needed to see this woman, and it was worth an UPSOT - I would have dropped a bit of sport coverage to include this - all the chances are not that necessary, especially when we have Sportsweek.
All in all folks, this is turning into a proper news programme - well done. Keep up the good work. Things are sharpening up.
Sunday, 20 February 2011
WINOL WEDS 16th FEBRUARY
Firstly - well done. This is a much better bulletin and has the air of real authority to it. While I am not sure whether we are reaching our audience (have we identified who they are yet?) you are making it look like a very credible bulletin - and credibility and authority are crucial to respectability.
And so the bulletin itself........
HEADS
The headlines were sharper, although still lack a little bit of punch. Please don't use the phrase "plays host" - it's a cliche and something that we really don't say in English. The golden rule is if it's a phrase we don't usually use in conversation, then don't use it. You can play around with words and make it quirky. Excite the viewer - make them want to watch your bulletin.
Also with the sport headline - use a goal or a good celeb - it was a bit of half and half. We'll discuss the angle of the camera as well. Where you should be is right by the goal, not on the corner flag.
JOB LOSSES
This a much better link, and had real information and set up the piece.
The package itself had some really promising aspects to it: there was a real understanding of shooting sequences, with a good array of pictures. Sam your voice is much better and didn't sound like the end of the world was coming as has happened in previous packages! You could make more use of the clock striking as a piece of NAT SOT, but it was good to hear it under your pictures. You also looked smart - that might sound like obvious but we have to look the part - you will get more respect from those that you are interviewing if you look presentable.
However on the PTC there was a slight mangling of the word "treasurer" - if you make a mistake on a PTC then do it again. There's no excuse for not getting it perfect.
The framing of Ken Thornber is not right - there should be more room on camera left, or move to the other side of the camera to move the interviewees eyeline to the other side, i.e. camera right.
The pan leading into Mel Kendal was a little ugly and he doesn't need a name check into that grab. The framing of the interview was too central as well - remember your rule of thirds. The end was lazy - please don't end with a SOT and an SOQ. I think three of you did that this week. I have told you to avoid that.
What was the pig at the end - how does that relate to the story?
Clearly the big ussue was the closing of the schools - there were no pictures of schools, even exteriors. More needed to be made of the £55m figure - it's a massive amount of money - how much of the whole budget is that. While this is clearly a piece relating to kids, and you have used them to humanise the story, don't forget the facts and putting the story into perspective.
NEWS CROSS
This was a terrific idea and gives the viewer a real up to date feel for this story. It looks like we are really on the ball when we use these tricks. However make sure we don't sacrifice content for style. Make sure we say something. Have the facts about who may be affected, and Julie keep still or you will disappear out of shot! Devices like "we've just learnt..." are great, but don't say "as you can see from the picture" when the picture is not there! The viewer can see the picture, that is good enough and no reference is needed unless it's something specific.
RURAL CRIME
There was a good bridge from the last story to this one. As Cara said, "Thank you Julie and we'll keep you updated on that story as it develops....", followed by a slight pause and the next link, just puts a line under the previous story and kicks off the next one perfectly.
Good link, although we could have had some stats in their to give the story some resonance.
Yet again it's a very well constructed story, although the pictures at the top are not that inspirational. Think of Hampshire and I think of a little more than two static pictures of a lane (however nice) and a distant shot of what I think is some farm buildings. Ruth Harper Adams is a good interviewee and it is covered well with shots - I particularly like the way you have layed her voice under some shots before we see her. This is a very good technique - others take note. It's a subtle and quite sophisticated shot - well done. What is missing is some fly tipping shots etc over what Ruth HA is saying and throughout the whole piece there is only one picture of crime, good though it is. When we've been working on a story for over a week we'd hope to get more pictures.
SENATORS VISIT
The link is ok - it's a bit of a tease, but it sums up the difficulty you found in the story. Two senators were here and there the story ends. What we needed to do is to get them on something conentious. Plug them to get a story out of them. It could be on anything - the Middle East, council cuts, University fees, job losses, the Royal Wedding - anything to get a line that we can hang on them. While it's great to hear them say we've been to Oxford and Cambridge....and Winchester, what is the story?
The fact that you have two cameras on the shoot is good, but where you are taking NAT SOT from the one of the Senators on the tight angle and then you cut to the wide you have take the sound from the wide, which is at the back of the auditorium. Keep using the sound from the tight camera which has better quality and then lay over the wide shot pictures and synch them up.
You too David have done the dreaded SOT-SOQ pay off - please don't do it!
BARTON FARM
This link could have been stronger couldn't it - he has spoken out a little bit more than "strongly" - was it true that he stormed out of the meeting? He is certainly and aggressive, so we need to reflect that.
Overall it's a good piece and we have represented all sides, so that is one box definitely ticked. There is a shortage of pictures on this and we have started this week's piece in the same way as last week's. But the grabs make it - an excellent one from Steve Brine, and an even more impressive one from the Cala Homes interviewee. Succinct, the edit covered in the middle, and perfect length - exactly how it should be. Well done, it is the stand out grab of the bulletin.
There is a problem with the wide shot of the meeting though during your voice over after Brine's first grab - watch the lady in the light jacket on the right and you will see her jump - be careful with your editing.
It's a good PTC at the end. Make sure you get the wording of your SOQ right, and don't lean into the sign - stand up straight! Well scripted and constructed on the whole with most elements covered.
SPORT
I will talk to the sports team directly on Monday.
STUDIO
Well done Justina for the direction - it looked spot on this week. I know the two shot doesn't look right because of our green screen, but it is a good habit to get into to go via the two shot for the handover; it gives a much more natural feeling to everything and gives our presenters character.
PRESENTATION
Cara, another terrific job - you look very comfortable, you have stopped wiggling in your chair, but now you have started moving your hands up down, eventhough they are clasped together. Just have a little look back. It's a small thing but would get annoying to the viewer if you did it too much though.
OVERALL
On a different scale to last week - much improved. Let's continue to work on the editorial side of things, but the quality of interviewee is very good this week. Remember pictures, pictures, pictures - let's have some memorable shots this week.
GRAB OF THE WEEK - Shira's Mike Emett from Cala Homes.
As for the website copy, that we need to discuss.........
And so the bulletin itself........
HEADS
The headlines were sharper, although still lack a little bit of punch. Please don't use the phrase "plays host" - it's a cliche and something that we really don't say in English. The golden rule is if it's a phrase we don't usually use in conversation, then don't use it. You can play around with words and make it quirky. Excite the viewer - make them want to watch your bulletin.
Also with the sport headline - use a goal or a good celeb - it was a bit of half and half. We'll discuss the angle of the camera as well. Where you should be is right by the goal, not on the corner flag.
JOB LOSSES
This a much better link, and had real information and set up the piece.
The package itself had some really promising aspects to it: there was a real understanding of shooting sequences, with a good array of pictures. Sam your voice is much better and didn't sound like the end of the world was coming as has happened in previous packages! You could make more use of the clock striking as a piece of NAT SOT, but it was good to hear it under your pictures. You also looked smart - that might sound like obvious but we have to look the part - you will get more respect from those that you are interviewing if you look presentable.
However on the PTC there was a slight mangling of the word "treasurer" - if you make a mistake on a PTC then do it again. There's no excuse for not getting it perfect.
The framing of Ken Thornber is not right - there should be more room on camera left, or move to the other side of the camera to move the interviewees eyeline to the other side, i.e. camera right.
The pan leading into Mel Kendal was a little ugly and he doesn't need a name check into that grab. The framing of the interview was too central as well - remember your rule of thirds. The end was lazy - please don't end with a SOT and an SOQ. I think three of you did that this week. I have told you to avoid that.
What was the pig at the end - how does that relate to the story?
Clearly the big ussue was the closing of the schools - there were no pictures of schools, even exteriors. More needed to be made of the £55m figure - it's a massive amount of money - how much of the whole budget is that. While this is clearly a piece relating to kids, and you have used them to humanise the story, don't forget the facts and putting the story into perspective.
NEWS CROSS
This was a terrific idea and gives the viewer a real up to date feel for this story. It looks like we are really on the ball when we use these tricks. However make sure we don't sacrifice content for style. Make sure we say something. Have the facts about who may be affected, and Julie keep still or you will disappear out of shot! Devices like "we've just learnt..." are great, but don't say "as you can see from the picture" when the picture is not there! The viewer can see the picture, that is good enough and no reference is needed unless it's something specific.
RURAL CRIME
There was a good bridge from the last story to this one. As Cara said, "Thank you Julie and we'll keep you updated on that story as it develops....", followed by a slight pause and the next link, just puts a line under the previous story and kicks off the next one perfectly.
Good link, although we could have had some stats in their to give the story some resonance.
Yet again it's a very well constructed story, although the pictures at the top are not that inspirational. Think of Hampshire and I think of a little more than two static pictures of a lane (however nice) and a distant shot of what I think is some farm buildings. Ruth Harper Adams is a good interviewee and it is covered well with shots - I particularly like the way you have layed her voice under some shots before we see her. This is a very good technique - others take note. It's a subtle and quite sophisticated shot - well done. What is missing is some fly tipping shots etc over what Ruth HA is saying and throughout the whole piece there is only one picture of crime, good though it is. When we've been working on a story for over a week we'd hope to get more pictures.
SENATORS VISIT
The link is ok - it's a bit of a tease, but it sums up the difficulty you found in the story. Two senators were here and there the story ends. What we needed to do is to get them on something conentious. Plug them to get a story out of them. It could be on anything - the Middle East, council cuts, University fees, job losses, the Royal Wedding - anything to get a line that we can hang on them. While it's great to hear them say we've been to Oxford and Cambridge....and Winchester, what is the story?
The fact that you have two cameras on the shoot is good, but where you are taking NAT SOT from the one of the Senators on the tight angle and then you cut to the wide you have take the sound from the wide, which is at the back of the auditorium. Keep using the sound from the tight camera which has better quality and then lay over the wide shot pictures and synch them up.
You too David have done the dreaded SOT-SOQ pay off - please don't do it!
BARTON FARM
This link could have been stronger couldn't it - he has spoken out a little bit more than "strongly" - was it true that he stormed out of the meeting? He is certainly and aggressive, so we need to reflect that.
Overall it's a good piece and we have represented all sides, so that is one box definitely ticked. There is a shortage of pictures on this and we have started this week's piece in the same way as last week's. But the grabs make it - an excellent one from Steve Brine, and an even more impressive one from the Cala Homes interviewee. Succinct, the edit covered in the middle, and perfect length - exactly how it should be. Well done, it is the stand out grab of the bulletin.
There is a problem with the wide shot of the meeting though during your voice over after Brine's first grab - watch the lady in the light jacket on the right and you will see her jump - be careful with your editing.
It's a good PTC at the end. Make sure you get the wording of your SOQ right, and don't lean into the sign - stand up straight! Well scripted and constructed on the whole with most elements covered.
SPORT
I will talk to the sports team directly on Monday.
STUDIO
Well done Justina for the direction - it looked spot on this week. I know the two shot doesn't look right because of our green screen, but it is a good habit to get into to go via the two shot for the handover; it gives a much more natural feeling to everything and gives our presenters character.
PRESENTATION
Cara, another terrific job - you look very comfortable, you have stopped wiggling in your chair, but now you have started moving your hands up down, eventhough they are clasped together. Just have a little look back. It's a small thing but would get annoying to the viewer if you did it too much though.
OVERALL
On a different scale to last week - much improved. Let's continue to work on the editorial side of things, but the quality of interviewee is very good this week. Remember pictures, pictures, pictures - let's have some memorable shots this week.
GRAB OF THE WEEK - Shira's Mike Emett from Cala Homes.
As for the website copy, that we need to discuss.........
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