Another lengthy appraisal to follow folks, but I can see that the analysis I have been giving is being listened to and acted upon - and your bulletins are getting much better - well done.
As ever not all of this will apply to you and you may want to skim through it until you find something about you. DON'T. Each note applies to each and every one of you and you can all learn by just spending a few minutes looking through this and watching the bulletin again.
OVERVIEW
This is a much better balanced news bulletin. What is particularly impressive is that it tries to tick a lot of boxes as far as our audience is concerned. There is a little bit for everyone, and we have serviced our core audience, i.e. the University, very well. Add to that a good local story at Bendicks, the hero firefighters back from NZ, young mums and a streaker in a mankini, and that is an excellent range. I am also pleased that you moved the news agenda on from Monday and new stories have appeared, particularly the lead. The graphics are fresh and give us a new identity.
HEADLINES
At last we are getting the idea! These are much punchier, the pictures you are choosing are better and we have got a decent pun in the sport headline. This is the way it should be! And there was no black hole at the end of it so well done on that score too.
NEWSREADING
Katie, firstly well done. You look good, and have presence so it worked well with you doing it. Be careful though not to read too quickly. When nervous it easy to let your mouth run away with you - maybe it was the autocue going too quickly - but when you go too quickly, you can easily stumble over words, and once you stumble once, you can get uptight and your performance can deteriorate. It is very common, so try and keep and even pace in conversational style. Remember everything you say the viewer is hearing for the first time and it needs explaining in a coherent manner.
AARON PORTER
Link: It was much better, with more information, though it was quite a long sentence for Katie to read.
Package: A good get, as we say. He is a figure in the public eye and somewhat controversial, so it is interesting to see what he says in a follow on from last week. I'm not sure he ever said what we contested in the link or the headlines, but you have given the story a hard edge and obviously a local one and that is important.
It's a bit of a library pull together on pictures, but that is to be expected. The limitations are that you have dissolved between each part of his interview, but clearly with a Skype interview there will be no cutaways, unless you film over Colin's shoulder, with Colin and the computer in a two shot, and use that as a cutaway.
Colin be careful with your tenses in the opening line - we would normally say "has voiced his worries", despite thinking that "voices his worries" is more up to date. But overall we used our intelligence and technology to get hold of him.
BENDICKS
Link: It's vital we get the name right! Katie, if you get it wrong, then just correct yourself. On a style issue, the fact that you say "Andrew Giddings spoke to local MP Steve Brine" suggests that this is a going to be a sit down interview and it is the next thing we are going to see. It wasn't. It can be left out.
Package: Your voice over is getting better all the time. It was very relaxed. It's a great PTC although I wonder if some of it could have been done in voice over, with a range of shots. But the simplicity of getting movement in your opening shot (a pair of boots going up the steps) is excellent technique. If a person walks past in a GV then use it, or a car goes past, use it - it just makes the shot more interesting.
It was good to get Steve Brine on this, even if it is only a phono - we are building up a good relationship with him - but let's make sure we discuss on Monday who might use him in any story, as a) we don't want to bombard him from all corners, but be united in our attempts to get hold of him, and b) don't use him too much. He is our local MP, but we don't want to over use him.
What is missing from this piece? Obvious really - the product. I know you couldn't get in and the Beeb were ahead of us because they have generic shots in their library, but we didn't even have a packet of anything. We knew about this on Monday - we had 48 hours to source some.
The last part of the quote you use from the company is unnecessary - even if you do use it, please put a full stop at the end of the sentence. Simple. Don't end with SOT SOQ, which effectively is what the quote is.
Excellent outline in vision in the studio. To break up the stories Katie, just have a look down at your scripts in between the end of the Bendicks one and the start of the firefighters - it's a simple technique that just tells the viewers we're moving on to something else. I told Andrew to do the same last week - so if we all read this, we will know when it's our turn to present.
FIREFIGHTERS:
Link:
There doesn't seem to be a proper sentence in the link, but that may be because of the way it was read. It should have built up their hero status or the challenging nature of their work, even if there was no real life saving success story.
Package:
This made the air because of Shira's persistence. She has nurtured a contact, kept on to them, and that reaped rewards. It was a good news story and I liked the way you fought to keep it your own Shira. I like that desire. You do the hard work, you want the glory. Fair enough.
The NAT SOT (my favourite) was good at the top of the piece, but you have to be careful. Remember that you are actually covering a story about death and destruction, so to see them laughing at the top has to be qualified with a voice over like.."Relieved to be home after a traumatic two weeks down under....." so you understand the mood of the story.
Your voice over also went on "The nine firefighters...." when we could only see six of them - it's just a bit confusing.
What you have used is a great technique though on the second part of the interview - you have overlayed the SOT with pictures, used some good sequences and this is pretty professional.
Clearly what would be best is to take the fireman's memory card, print up some of his pictures and shoot them, or put them on a screen, rather than just use them on his camera, but you did what you could to actually get the shots.
It's not easy when only one of the firemen speaks - you use him four times I think. Once is best, twice is just about allowed, but we really need to persuade others to talk too to give it some variation. But you line of "they have just one more mission" leading into his grab, is really excellent.
I was impressed with the hard work and the contacts you have made here. But please - again - no SOT then SOQ - it is lazy. And make sure you get your SOQ right. It is standard all round. Name, Winchester News Online, Place.
YOUNG MUMS
Link:
Again much better - it's fuller and more informative - but what is a Surestart Centre? You don't tell me in the link or in the package. The mums know, Ken Thornber knows, but does the majority of your audience? And you fail to reflect the partial victory the mums achieved - namely the extension to consultation period. Also the link says 1,000 signatures - the package says 12,000 - get it right.
Package:
This is a perfect example of going out on something on the hunch and coming back with a very decent story - it was full of colour, there's a large array of shots and a really good reflection of what it was all about. You shoot your pictures at just the right size, so it looks like there are possibly more mums on the march than were actually there. Maybe we could have heard more of the whistles and the noise though.
The NAT SOT of Cllr Thornber is excellent and the reaction from Kate Reynolds, exactly the right length. You have really used your interviewees, NAT SOT and PTC well - it makes it feel like there is so much in it. It is well edited and scripted - my only complaint, as above, what is a Surestart centre and what does it do? Does the v/o and the PTC repeat itself. Be careful.
NIB:
Apart from the finger trouble on vision mixing desk, this is a worthy story, and important to reflect what our Vice Chancellor is doing in her efforts to protect the viability of the University.
GAMBIA:
Link:
The link comes in a bit early - make sure the director is in charge cueing the presenter at the right time and the vision mixer coming off the ulay to match.
Eventhough there is a stutter on the link, we all do that don't worry, what's the up to date line on this story?
Package:
David your voice is excellent - well paced and clear - although be careful don't swallow your first word. What exactly did the students do, apart from teach? That never really came across. Or is that all they did? What exactly is the Diamond Jubilee project? You were nearly there.
It would have been nice to hear from more than one student as well - never be satisfied with just one viewpoint, get as many people talking about it as you can. Well done for zooming in and out on various stills - that's how you make what is effectively a non moving picture, that much more interesting.
SPORT HANDOVER
Remember if someone asks you a question, it's rude if you don't answer - so when Katie asks you a question Kieran answer it!
All your reports I have looked at and put in a review of Sportsweek.
On the results round-up, obviously the graphic should be up longer to cover all the scores and voice over.
But overall pretty good bulletin. Kieran you look very comfortable in front of camera, a very good debut.
Katie make sure you say thank you - if we make handovers that much more relaxed then we look so much more comfortable on camera.
SPITFIRE:
I think we needed to see this woman, and it was worth an UPSOT - I would have dropped a bit of sport coverage to include this - all the chances are not that necessary, especially when we have Sportsweek.
All in all folks, this is turning into a proper news programme - well done. Keep up the good work. Things are sharpening up.
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